(no subject)

\I set you in motion.
I said the words, put the knife in your hand,
Hell, I even poked where you're soft, if only to enrage you.
Is it wrong that every cut you gave me tonight made me smile?
Feeling something after the abyss of separation was rain to my drought.
And every subsequent scar is making a collage of memories,
Tattooing a cryptograph on my skin that only you and I know the key for,

You'll ask me why one day,
Why would I provoke such atrocity,
Why would I want you upset,
Why on Earth would I ask you to hurt me?
The answer, of course, is in my scars.

You wanted to strip me of the will to fight back,
Hit me hard enough to make me cry like you'd seen a dozen times,
Cut me so deep that I'd recoil in pain, or lose that limb,
You struck with surgical precision, knowing where it hurt the most,
And I still haven't caved. I still haven't cried.

Would you like to know why?
Can you still not see?
As sad as it is to realize,
No one ever hurts the ones they don't care about.
No one slashes over and over, and over, at the same thing,
Without something they feel to drive them.
Even if I drew your hate, I can sleep on that...

Like always, sleep is overtaking me before I can finish... I'll see what I can conjure later.

Release Me (Lessons from a Goddess, Vol. 1)

I am vexed by you.
You invited me into your life.
You taught me how to stand up,
And how to move in on you.
I dare say you enticed me
Into the position you now
Fault me for adoring.

You brought me out of the cold,
Taught me to use my tongue
Instead of my hands,
And I'm supposed to be alright
When you decide I'm through?
You used to be insatiable.
The appetite you had
Could have fed Asia.

I was still new.
I was nothing special,
Just a broken man
With a strong arm
And some sweet ideas.
But, as you taught me,
Some teeth are sweeter than others.

You beat me to the punch,
Even after you pulled so many.
I laid my life at your feet.
I wanted you to see
What real men would give
To learn at the foot of a Goddess,
Or she who would be Goddess
If only she knew her higher path.
But the most important lessons,
So you taught me,
Are the ones you learn without words,
Where you explore alone,
Learning with your fingers and slow breaths,
And eventually come full circle,
Back to where you began.

Now to see if rest will come  now....


Asynchronicity and Anachronism


I feel like I hold a world in my open palms.
I stare into the vibrant orb, full of life, lovingly,
Knowing in my heart that at any moment
She could very easily dry up and crumble
Into particulates of memory and slide through my fingers.

But with that knowledge, I stare on,
I hold on, I love on,
I pretend in these moments that, when the times comes,
It will not hurt me quite as bad as I know it will
When she decides my Universe is not where she belongs.

Other possibilities of eternity and forever permeate my dreamscape.
In a universe of seeming uncertainty anything, of course, is possible.
But in that pool of probability, anything that can happen will.
Anything that has happened is just as likely to happen again.
But, if the latter is actually true, then it is more likely that disappointment haunts me.

I. Do. Not. Care.
Love being "patient" and love being "kind" also states that love "suffereth long."
What? Do you think the word "suffer" is by accident?
Love is not kiss and bliss all day, or even every day.
It is suffering. It is bearing a load. It is endurance. It is hope.

And thus I hope. Thus I suffer. Thus I endure and gaze on.
I signed away my easy and my carefree when I took this world into my hands.

The Crux of a Novel Unwritten

"...'But you, my darling girl, you have always held my heart. When I first found you I knew you, and you alone, were the dream for which all my sleep had waited. And you would be the reason I dreamed ever again thereafter. Everything my heart waited for so impatiently for so long found itself embodied in you.
'I don't know whether to love you or hate you. You have the ability to complete my puzzle in almost every facet, yet, at the same time, you have the power to rip me apart with a quick word.'
He held his hands together as he knelt, head bowed before her, 'Save me or kill me, my love, but do make it fast...' "
~original transcript excerpt of work by R. Jeremy Howard

A fill in the blank that I actually put some thought into...

Who Knew?

If I were a month, I’d be November.

If I were a day of the week, I’d be Sunday.

If I were a time of day, I’d be moonrise.
If I were a planet, I’d be one of those ones that they discovered 20 light years away from earth.

If I were a sea animal, I’d be a walrus. Let me correct myself, I Am The Walrus.

If I were a direction, I’d be a 3-D sine wave.

If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a stone bench.

If I were a liquid, I’d be cranberry-pomegranate juice.

If I were a gemstone, I’d be watermelon tourmaline.

If I were a tree, I’d be english oak.

If I were a tool, I’d be a leatherman.

If I were a flower, I’d be a venus fly trap.

If I were a kind of weather, I’d be cirrus clouds.

If I were a musical instrument, I’d be my guitar.

If I were a color, I’d be chartreuse.

If I were an emotion, I’d be strange.

If I were a fruit, I’d be a tomato.

If I were a sound, I’d be silence.

If I were an element, I’d be fire.

If I were a car, I’d be a Chrysler 300.

If I were a food, I’d be my homemade cheese sauce.

If I were a place, I’d be my castle in York.

If I were a material, I’d be silk.

If I were a taste, I’d taste like a caramel banana.

If I were a scent, I’d be all that is man.

If I were an animal, I’d be a manbearpig.

If I were an object, I’d be an obsidian blade.

If I were a body part, I’d be calves.

If I were a facial expression, I’d be OMGHI2U!!

If I were a song, I’d be http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EV8PuW9pmBE .

If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be well used combat boots.

Thanks Kristina. I owe you a good thought invoking thought.

I think I might be developing an honest-to-deity work ethic. More on this topic soon.

I've Become Everything [I Hate]

I have a friend.
She has a man.
The man was cool,
Then switched off.
She was broken.
I held her from
Half a continent away.
We were happy
In that moment.

I have a Love
Who Loves another man.
She returned to him
Because she is semper fi.
Now I am broken
Because I know that
The more I want to fight
The less I can.
Because I will lose.

An open letter to Akiane

I am not often surprised by my contemporaries, much less those of the generation behind me. We, as a society, are not heading in an upward direction in adoration of art or word. Virtues are being replaced by meaningless drivel and trite conjurations of beauty.

Your abilities stun me to my core. They give me hope. I've found myself drifting and uninspired recently. I thank you for sharing your talents with the world.

Never cease.


--Sent today. Feeling good. New material soon.

Observed and Reported

Actual Facebook conversation had publicly on a comment thread of a link to Kesha's "Take It Off":

[judgmental female friend] "She's so talentless. She can't even lip sync correctly."

[male who posted link] "Who cares? I don't like her for her talent."

[f] "Pfft! I bet her vagina is even retarded."

[m] "That's cool. I'm down."

[f]"Yeah, until it bites your dick off."

[m]"It'll be worth it."

And people say chauvinism is dead...

Sometimes I am ashamed of my gender. And of feminazis who poke at celebrities because they won't poke back. But also of my gender. I believe I've riffed on dirty, talentless sex symbols flaunting their bodies for business, but if I haven't, I'll probably get around to it sometime soon. (That is, of course, opposed to very talented sex symbols using all of their talents for business.)

That's all you get today, dreamers.

Names Have Been Changed to Protect the Innocent

I Love You.
I don't capitalize Love for just anyone.
I don't just casually, small "L" love You
Nor do I want to romance Your pants off,
Though sometimes, that might be nice.
I'm glad for Your existence in my sphere.
Without You, life here would be very different.
I don't know how else to thank You for that
Besides telling You. Though I'm certain now
I will never truly be able to tell You how much
I Love You.