Seriously, I freaking love it. I love listening to it. I love feeling it. I love smelling it. If it's not dripping off of a roof or a nasty tree, I love tasting it. I love watching it bounce off of everything around me. And me. I love the full sensory experience of rain. It's one of two absolutely natural events I can think of that I enjoy with every part of my soul. And that I can do naked.
I realized the other day that I lose everything in the fall. Memories blur together after a certian point, but every fall I can remember I've lost something or someone. My mind, keys, friends, watches, fathers, money, vehicles, blood, glasses... I could go on, but I've been told lately that I blather on a lot. Or maybe I told myself that. Probably.
Something I learned today is that my favorite things are only my favorite things when there are people I like with me to enjoy them. Otherwise, they're just things. I used to actually enjoy going to work (sometimes) when I had other people I enjoyed work with. Now my usual work is essentially solitary. Now work is just work. I do it. Like going to the bathroom or putting gas in the car. I do it because I have to. Because if I don't do it, I lose the ability to function as a person. I'd rather do something else. Anything else. Anything else that involves more brain power than a monkey waving a greeting at the passers by and looking like an angry gorilla when people get mean. I do the angry gorilla bit well, though. People are placid around me when I'm in uniform. Even when I'm pumping gas on my way home or buying Dew on my way to work. I blend in most of the time. Or at least people gawk silently. But when the badge is shining or the security patch is marching with me, it's like people actively wonder about me. Perhaps that's fallacious. People actively (and randomly) ask about me when I'm out all of the time. It gets annoying.
I'm so glad I'm not a celebrity. I'd have probably throat punched somebody by now.
Speking of which, people are annoying me more lately. Not just people that normally annoy me like the people that say I should play football or insult my intelligence because they think I've already played football. No no, I mean people that I would normally not care about. The little girls that swear obnoxiously loud in the college commons about their "drunk-ass" weekend. Even on Tuesday. (Seriously friends, it's Tuesday. It's even more lame a day after it was lame news.) Or the guys that hit on the pretty cashier girls when there's twelve people in line behind them. (Being unconcious of others is not attractive unless she's a shallow "wah-ho-ray". And I can tell she isn't 4 people back by the way she moved on to the next customer while you were talking about your awesome party this weekend.) Or the people that try to out-drive me when I apparently insult their new Ford Focus by accelerating faster than them to get out of cop-country. (You're in a Focus. Are you serious? I could understand a Mustang, but a Focus? You're a danger to the public.)
I'd go on, but I realized how soon work is.
And I have to do it.
And zombie clowns getting hit by a sledge hammer makes me so happy inside. People like me are probably the reason Rome fell.