A fill in the blank that I actually put some thought into...

If I were a month, I’d be November.

If I were a day of the week, I’d be Sunday.

If I were a time of day, I’d be moonrise.
...
If I were a planet, I’d be one of those ones that they discovered 20 light years away from earth.

If I were a sea animal, I’d be a walrus. Let me correct myself, I Am The Walrus.

If I were a direction, I’d be a 3-D sine wave.

If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a stone bench.

If I were a liquid, I’d be cranberry-pomegranate juice.

If I were a gemstone, I’d be watermelon tourmaline.

If I were a tree, I’d be english oak.

If I were a tool, I’d be a leatherman.

If I were a flower, I’d be a venus fly trap.

If I were a kind of weather, I’d be cirrus clouds.

If I were a musical instrument, I’d be my guitar.

If I were a color, I’d be chartreuse.

If I were an emotion, I’d be strange.

If I were a fruit, I’d be a tomato.

If I were a sound, I’d be silence.

If I were an element, I’d be fire.

If I were a car, I’d be a Chrysler 300.

If I were a food, I’d be my homemade cheese sauce.

If I were a place, I’d be my castle in York.

If I were a material, I’d be silk.

If I were a taste, I’d taste like a caramel banana.

If I were a scent, I’d be all that is man.

If I were an animal, I’d be a manbearpig.

If I were an object, I’d be an obsidian blade.

If I were a body part, I’d be calves.

If I were a facial expression, I’d be OMGHI2U!!

If I were a song, I’d be http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EV8PuW9pmBE .

If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be well used combat boots.